Thursday, July 31, 2014

It's a (DIY) Wrap

Has anyone tried any Detox/Slimming Body Wraps?  I had seriously been considering trying it since I have a little saggy skin where my C-section was. (sorry guys - TMI alert a little late ) The main goal of a detox wrap is to aid your body in detoxifying your skin and fat cells to help you trim a few inches from your stomach, thighs, arms, buttocks, neck and face. You can also reduce the appearance of cellulite and firm up loose skin. Who doesn't want that?  

I came across THIS blog, by Mandy Gladden, on Facebook.  She did some research and found Plexus's Fast Relief Cream and the Body Cream have many of the same ingredients found in various other wraps on the market. In fact, our creams have even more natural detoxifying ingredients than most wraps out there! You mean, I can make my own wrap?? Yes... Yes you can!

It was time for an experiment.
My tools

I worked late last night so by the time I'd gotten home, got the boys fed, and fixed something for myself, it was 9:00pm before I could try this out.  We didn't have a tape measure, or at least one the wasn't metal and stiff, so I improvised. I got some ribbon and wrapped it around my belly which was the area I wanted to test.  I cut a length of it that fit snugly, but not tightly, around me.  Now, when I finish the hour long experiment, I will use that ribbon and see if it's loose and measure the difference.  That was the plan anyways.

I undressed, took one pump of each cream, and slathered them on my belly and around my back.  I intended on wrapping myself with Saran Wrap since it's what I had handy, but thought I'd ask Paul to help me.  He said, "Wait, let me get this straight.  You're going to wrap yourself up in Saran Wrap."  I said yes.  He said "You know, you're supposed to surprise me at the door when I come home from a long day at work like that.  You're doing it wrong."  I just rolled my eyes and told him to roll me up. He did, but giggled the whole time.

I thought we had it tight enough, but almost immediately it started to slip and slide.  So, I improvised again.  I had a full body girdle because, well, you never know when you might need one.  Like now.  I pulled it on over the Saran Wrap.  This actually worked great.  Paul lost interest around this point. :-)

It was now 9:05pm.  I went upstairs to do a little work while I waited for the hour to pass.  At about 9:10pm I felt an intense tingling.  Was it working??  Maybe!  Then at 9:28pm the tingling actually got a little stronger. It was almost, but not quite, uncomfortable.  I actually like the way it felt.  No pain no gain, right?

At 10:05pm I went downstairs to unwrap myself and see if I had any success.  With my crude measuring method, it looked like I was down at least a 1/4"!  That may not seem like much, but I call it a success!  This morning when I woke up I thought I'd see if I'd ballooned back out, but now it showed a loss of closer to 1/2"! They say the benefits of the wrap will keep working for up to 48 hours. 

I will repeat the process on my thighs next.  Maybe I'll have pictures for that one.  Maybe.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A Memory of Pasta e Fagioli

Last night, after I got home from work, Paul said he really wanted to go to Olive Garden for dinner.  I was hungry so I said, sure.  Lots of carbs, but maybe I can find something less terrible for my blood sugar.  He said, “I just really want the Pasta e Fagioli soup.  If that came in a can, I'd eat it every day.”

Dinner was nice, but they got my order wrong and they weren’t going to get my food out to me before the boys finished eating and started screaming. So, since Paul was finished too, he took the kids to my parents house while I ate (assuming I ever got my food) and he’d come back to get me.

I ate alone.

We picked the kids up from my parents and went home.  It was nearly 9:00 pm so we put the boys in their sleepy clothes and we all went to sleep.  However, I woke up at 4:30 am with 2 kids in the bed with us, tightly sandwiched between Sean and Paul.  I seriously couldn’t move an inch.  I considered trying to extract myself and put the kids back in their beds, but I was tired.  So, being lazy, I started to drift back to sleep. 

On the edge of consciousness I thought I heard distant thunder, a faint rumble that lasted about 4 or 5 seconds.  I just had time to think, “Great. I’ll have to drive to work in the rain again”, when my eyes immediately watered up and the sulfuric gassy wave of Shai'tan himself hit me.  That rumble wasn’t thunder.  It was the malodorous stream of undiluted evil rushing out from between my loving husbands butt cheeks.  And he was trying to kill me.

My arms were pinned to my sides and most of my face was under the covers.  Holding my breath, I started to wiggle around in an attempt to save myself from a slow death by suffocation of a fetid fart.  I was finally able to turn my face and bury it in Sean’s neck to ride out the abominable bender.  Sean was breathing with his mouth open and that was STILL less stinky than the award-winning performance coming from my dear Paul, who was STILL ASLEEP!  How could anyone sleep through this life threatening event? 

In spite of his attempt on my life, I survived. I thought, "what on EARTH did that boy eat for dinner?"  Oh, yeah. 

Pasta e Fagioli.  

I thank GOD it doesn’t come in a can.