Man, I sure wish I could re-do this morning's commute to work. I had no idea I could have so much rage. It didn't start out all that bad but it ended with me sitting here in shame and wishing I was a nice person.
Yesterday, taking the twins to day care, I had to take a left at Forest and Abrams. I was waiting for the cars to pass and just as I was about to turn (dang, that one guy just won't get out of my WAY) the car behind me laid on his horn. I hate the drivers in my neighborhood. I actually flipped him off, which I never do.
This morning I was waiting on the car in FRONT of me to turn left so I could hopefully go too and not get stuck behind the incredibly long red light at this same intersection. I noticed that for about, oh, 5 seconds there is actually a green turn signal right before the light turns yellow (is that new?). The car in front of me didn't see it, of course because they obviously weren't paying attention, and the light turned yellow. Enraged, I laid on my horn as he turned and I shot out behind him - and realized I was THAT GUY. You know, the one from yesterday who honked at me because I probably had that same green arrow and didn't see it. So, I feel bad. But moments later it's forgotten.
I get the kids to school and make the painfully slow trek to work. It's misting today. People here forget how to drive when it's not sunny, or bright, or hot.
I get to Starbucks, like I do every morning. Today the line for the drive-thru is so long it's backed up onto Inwood. I wait in line like everyone else. As I get off Inwood and close to the actual que lane, a white Chevy Tahoe pulls up and seemingly wants to cross our long, tight-nit line. There is a business just to the left and I feel kinda bad for those people who can never seem to get into their parking lot due to Starbucks' success. So, remembering my honking to the previous me from the morning before, I decide to let her cross over. Annnnnnd she cut in line. She actually cut in line. THE BITCH CUT IN LINE. I was not the only one honking at her now. She waved. Well, that made it all better.
In my daydream, I got out of the car and knocked on her window to tell her she's just cut in line in front of 8 cars and that it wasn't cool. That I thought she just wanted THROUGH or I wouldn't have let her in. Again, I told her it wasn't cool and wiggled my finger at her.
No, none of that happened. I just sat there HATING her. I even rolled down my window (while it was drizzling outside) so she could better see the HATE in my eyes. She finally pulled up to the order microphone AND SHE FREAKING ORDERED 5 DRINKS AND FOOD. OHHHH I hated her. I even thought about ramming her with my car. Would that drive up my insurance rates? Probably. So, no, I won't hit her. I'll just continue to HATE her in my car. I can feel my adrenaline pumping and I'm sure I could lift a building. Well, maybe a small one. I even had that roaring in my ears that some people talk about. I was so mad.
She finally got all her drinks and food payed for and, after chatting with the Starbucks guy, left. I heard her say "I'll see you tomorrow". OHHHH, now I hated her even more if that's even possible. She's a regular. She KNOWS better. She's obviously one of those women who always get what they want and doesn't give a flipping damn about anyone else.
I drove up to the window fully intending on telling the Starbucks guy what she'd done (like that would make a difference) and, as I handed him my card and opened my mouth to say what for, he told me that she'd paid for my order. What? He said that she'd told him what she'd done and that she felt so bad (obviously not bad enough to get out of the line) so she paid for my order. Damn it. She'd made herself feel better and successfully made me feel like crap.
I am actually ashamed of myself. I allowed this woman to control my emotions while I could have been initially upset and then just shrugged it off. She wasn't making me late to work. She didn't harm me in any way. But instead, I was filled with hate and loathing. I don't want to be that person.
Can I please have a "Do-Over"?