Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dreams - Inner Self

I recently had a dream where I realized that there was a room in my house that I'd never noticed before.  It was quite big and I was a little annoyed that I hadn't seen it before.  It really would have been helpful when the boys were younger!  I also realized that every other room in the house opened up to this one.  How had I never seen it before?  It was fully furnished but a little untidy.  But it wasn't filthy. 

This reminded me of another dream I had when I was living in Tyler, Texas.  I was probably about 24 years old at the time.

I was looking for my sister.  Something had happened and she ran in fear to hid.  I was desperately searching for her when I came upon an abandoned house.  It was old but probably beautiful in it's day.  And with a little love it could be again. 

I tried to peek in the windows to see if I could see my sister, but the windows had a film on them and I couldn't see anything.  So I found an opening and crawled inside.

It was FILTHY.  There was no color and the entire house was covered in a dark grey, dirty film.  Every single piece of furniture was broken.  I realized I couldn't see into the house from the windows because they were covered in this strange dust. 

I heard my sister and ran into the room where I thought I heard the sound.  It was difficult moving around because there was so much dirt and broken furniture.  All I remember is that I never did find her and I couldn't find my way back out.  I was forever locked inside that house.

I actually looked up something about what dreams meant and found that the house was supposedly really me.  The exterior was how others perceived me and the interior is how I perceive myself.  This made some sense to me since, at the time, I felt broken and dirty. 

The fact that I'm now dreaming of a nice, big room that isn't insanely destroyed gives me comfort.  Instead of being dirty and broken, I'm just untidy.  And the improvement only took 20 years.  :-)
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